On Being Strong and Independent
What does it really take for a woman to become one anyway?
She’s funny and smart, outgoing and adventurous. She finds it easy to talk to strangers and can even turn them into real and life-long friends. You can say that it’s because of her charm or maybe because it’s just so easy to be around her, but she can quickly turn a small chat into a deep and meaningful conversation.
She keeps her head up while walking and never shies away from smiling at people whose eyes lock with hers in the hallway or on the street, even if she doesn’t know them at all. Self-assured, that’s what you may think of her. She doesn’t see anyone as competition because she feels comfortable in her own skin and that’s why she gives compliments willingly and genuinely — she knows everyone deserves them, no matter who they are or where they’re from.
She appears to have gotten her life together — she can pay for her own rent and groceries, and pick up the tab from a restaurant. She’s able to rush herself to the hospital when she needs it, run errands even during the lock-down period, fix her faucet and shower at home and cook nice meals for herself. She has a continuously growing career as well as a lot of opportunities ahead of her. She knows what she’s capable of, is even aware of her talents, and doesn’t hesitate to show them to anyone.
If independence looks like this, then I think she’s aced it. If being strong means looking after yourself, then I’m certain that she is at the top of it. But then, being strong and independent is not just about what you can do on the outside. It’s also about admitting to yourself that whatever it is that’s lacking in your life right now, that you need it, and maybe even want it more than ever. It’s about telling your friends that you think you’ve had the worst week of your life, and that you already want to shake off that brave face you’ve been wearing for so long and just get on your knees and cry. It’s about allowing yourself to feel lonely at times, yearning for someone to hold, but also finding an alternative that can be good enough in the meantime— like buying big pillows and hugging them when you sleep at night.
Strength and independence go hand-in-hand, and it’s not just about about showing them off. It’s also about accepting your flaws fearlessly, and taking your own time in working on them. It’s embracing the fact that you’re someone who continuously makes mistakes every single day, but also finds ways to learn from them.
And when you’re strong and independent, you’re brave enough to let yourself evolve because you know that nothing is ever permanent, and that there’s no other way but to let yourself go above and beyond even if all you can take are baby steps for now.
